Jenobi's World

I woke up this morning feeling sleeeeeepy thanks to the guest next door snoring like a banshee. Also, stayed up after my fast food dinner to watch Jimmy Kimmel because John Mayer was a guest on his show. Went downstairs for the free buffet breakfast and coffee.fter eating, I planned my morning excursion of walking down to Chula Vista . A great idea and good distance walk, similar to walking the seawall. The wildlife were not abundant but what I saw was definitely different than what I'm used to in Vancity. Hummingbirds, lizards, white herons, hawks to name a few. Loads of hummingbirds. Back from my walk, I'm not sun burnt as it is sunny and warm, I am headed for the nearby mall. I will ask the concierge about transport to the concert, to and from, for later.  At the mall I saw nothing in  t that caught my eye. Pretty much . . The like Metrotowne but all outside, prices weren't much different than Vancouver so I opted to go in to Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch. Happy hour was...

It was about 4:30am when the phone rang, my father on the other end telling me I should come to the hospital as soon as possible. My mother, resting in palliative care, was saying goodbye to the world and I should be there. When I arrived, the first of my siblings, my father was a mess but had his usual brave face. He knew this was the end of a long journey they had travelled together. I went in her room and sat beside her bed. She was tiny and pale, resting painless in a coma. I held her hand and told her I loved her. Our journey together was up and down, but we understood each other in our silence, both very strong women. I knew we could carry the world on our strength, and I am strong today because of her. After my brothers arrived, my sister-in-law and niece in tow, and had their time with her, I saw my niece silently looking at our sad faces. She was only 6 years old at the time, similar to my age when my grandfather passed of the same disease. I wondered how much of this day ...

Well it’s my birthday tomorrow. I’m feeling exhausted and run down. I have the wonderful experience of sitting next to an ex in my local pub, whom I broke up with exactly 5 years ago. I found out last night from a mutual friend that he stuck around with me for 2 years before I cut the cord, living with me while I paid for an amazingly amount of shit while he drank himself into a dark cave. Sitting next to him is making me physically ill now, tolerating his presence for the sake of the room. He still tries to talk to me but last night’s news made me realize the wasted fucking years I spent, thinking it could work if we tried. He never did and coked and drank his life away, while lying to me for 2 years. What a fucking coward. I tried, sending notes, meeting him after work, compromising my life for our relationship. Sitting next to him can’t be a big enough wake up call to how I needed to get a backbone and also how I have shut people out since then. Being single...

Well, time has passed since the last mortifying incident at my local. Sometimes I think this place is more trouble than good. Thanks to the offerings they bring, my wallet is depleted and my belt is running out of holes to hold up my jeans. The folks with which I had a run in last week, have gotten a few nasty words from my side. Also the management here have treated me with nothing but respect, understand that I am of the same industry and have no desire to raise a ruckus over the drunken antics of a loser patron. It is a new year and I was jolted alive with disturbing news from a friend that he is in hospital, open heart surgery to be done in a few days. Luckily he is in good spirits and always the relaxed happy-go-lucky personality, taking it in stride, keeping me relaxed while he sends me texts as if he were at home in his lay-z-boy. I glance across the bar at the people that made me feel so inadequate as a human being and wonder why the good people always end up with the shit...

Looking around at the many people I know within the many rooms of my house called Life, I wonder which people entered this house with a personal invitation, compared to people whom entered with a false ID. No bouncer at the front door, I'm sure, as I wander from room to room, I should re-evaluate the entrance policy of my house. Do I really know these guests, drifting through my rooms, looking at my stuff? Are these rooms filled simply to fill them? Are these people interested in me or are they there just to take from me or use me? I have seen many an awkward moment with this circle of people I include in my life. Many times I have stood up for them, backing up one person's story against another. I have spoken out when someone needed help. I have supported people in emotional need. I have celebrated in times of happiness, and cried in times of sadness. I felt I was an important part of this circle, contributing with the rest. This, in most descriptions, would be defined as ...

It's the Christmas season and I just put up my tree. Sometimes I think, why the Hell am I doing this? I never have anyone over to my cave. Sure it's pretty but all the decorations remind me of previous parts of my life, especially ex-boyfriends. I still hang them on the boughs of my fake tree, perhaps an acceptance of every twist and turn of my life. It's sad from a certain angle, that I am alone at my age, but I know it's my choice. I have noticed that I am attracting the opposite sex and I enjoy the attention. For some reason, these men that are buzzing around are not capable of asking me out. Sure, I could do them the honours, but I still want to be courted, like every gal.  I was sad to hear that one of my suitors will not be around as much, for good reasons, as he purchased a new home, on the east side of town. Moving out of the West End will limit his visits of course, and also, lower the chance of him actually getting enough courage to ask me out. He is ki...

It's funny how Friday night can pop up on you, not in the calendar kinda way, but in the excitement of the whole world sayin' "hey it's Friday, let's have fun!" I am of that bunch, trying to have the fun we all are told to have. Society says on Friday we can relax, go out and let loose. Well, I was ready for that but of course, working the next day, throbbing in the back of my mind, and still yet at noon, has become a bit of a damper. The night has been like every "amateur drinking holiday", like Halloween, New Years Eve, etc. To me Friday night is just another night, where it starts off strong and dwindles to a quiet roar. If you have a second wind you can ride the tide with the late comers, but this is like sex with a guy with erectile disfunction... You never can depend on a good time. So I arrive, ready for some fun and, yes, it started out great, fun people, fun times. Now, the lull resting in the decision to stay has brought me into the oni...