Jenobi's World

Looking around at the many people I know within the many rooms of my house called Life, I wonder which people entered this house with a personal invitation, compared to people whom entered with a false ID. No bouncer at the front door, I'm sure, as I wander from room to room, I should re-evaluate the entrance policy of my house. Do I really know these guests, drifting through my rooms, looking at my stuff? Are these rooms filled simply to fill them? Are these people interested in me or are they there just to take from me or use me? I have seen many an awkward moment with this circle of people I include in my life. Many times I have stood up for them, backing up one person's story against another. I have spoken out when someone needed help. I have supported people in emotional need. I have celebrated in times of happiness, and cried in times of sadness. I felt I was an important part of this circle, contributing with the rest. This, in most descriptions, would be defined as ...

It's the Christmas season and I just put up my tree. Sometimes I think, why the Hell am I doing this? I never have anyone over to my cave. Sure it's pretty but all the decorations remind me of previous parts of my life, especially ex-boyfriends. I still hang them on the boughs of my fake tree, perhaps an acceptance of every twist and turn of my life. It's sad from a certain angle, that I am alone at my age, but I know it's my choice. I have noticed that I am attracting the opposite sex and I enjoy the attention. For some reason, these men that are buzzing around are not capable of asking me out. Sure, I could do them the honours, but I still want to be courted, like every gal.  I was sad to hear that one of my suitors will not be around as much, for good reasons, as he purchased a new home, on the east side of town. Moving out of the West End will limit his visits of course, and also, lower the chance of him actually getting enough courage to ask me out. He is ki...

It's funny how Friday night can pop up on you, not in the calendar kinda way, but in the excitement of the whole world sayin' "hey it's Friday, let's have fun!" I am of that bunch, trying to have the fun we all are told to have. Society says on Friday we can relax, go out and let loose. Well, I was ready for that but of course, working the next day, throbbing in the back of my mind, and still yet at noon, has become a bit of a damper. The night has been like every "amateur drinking holiday", like Halloween, New Years Eve, etc. To me Friday night is just another night, where it starts off strong and dwindles to a quiet roar. If you have a second wind you can ride the tide with the late comers, but this is like sex with a guy with erectile disfunction... You never can depend on a good time. So I arrive, ready for some fun and, yes, it started out great, fun people, fun times. Now, the lull resting in the decision to stay has brought me into the oni...

Where did the daylight go? The sun is setting earlier every day and it is making me a bit sluggish. All I want to do is sleep and eat. I understand the natural winter preparation all animals do as the weather gets colder and there is less sunlight. I have managed to gain 10lbs without even noticing. I know why the weight has piled on, and every excuse under the sun (or rather, clouds) will not make me thinner. I am obviously and unknowingly fattening up for the winter, fully ready for hibernation. In actual fact, my days off have been something similar of the sort, staying indoors, warm and dry, avoiding the fresh air, inevitably paired with cloud bursts and continuous downpours. Looking outside at the dreary weather would make anyone pull the covers back over their head. I was so used to my 2 hour walks around the seawall, enjoying the different wildlife and foliage in Stanley Park. This lack of sunlight and drab weather has chased me indoors, away from my usual routine. My jeans a...

Well, another brunch eaten but at my work, with another friend. It was nice. We talked about my past issues with the last guy of question in my life. I, again, ended with conclusion that I was not in the wrong again. Talking about it helps. Nothing really was drastically wrong accept my pride being beaten down. I am a bad judge of character I guess. I think I need help picking guys now, lol. After I had a small walk, watched a movie at home and was pulled off my couch by some planes flying in formation around Coal Harbour. I missed the Abbotsford Airshow this year and this was like a little snippet of what I missed. 3 Cessnas and 1 Harvard. Grabbed my camera and took some shots. Now a few beers and some blues.

Well, it's my first Saturday off in what seems like a century. So, of course, I wake up at 7am. Not a surprise considering I've woken up at 6:30am or earlier forever on the weekends. I have a plans today but I still needed to pop in to see if the troops are 'killing it'. Now I'm off to breakie with a chum to see another chum at his new job. Then I'll shop around for some special bowls and a new mandolin for work. ************* Well I accomplished my goals today with ease, finding the bowls for our new brunch menu at work, a new mandolin at work, and added bonus avocado slicer and a new duvet set (on sale), after going for brunch. It's 4pm now and I'm gonna hit the seawall for some music in the park. There is a huge concert at Brockton Oval (http://www.voicesinthepark.com/) with a bunch of musical bigwigs. I figure listening to it from the seawall might be possible???

Well yesterday was a one off. Yep, I fell off the wagon. My friend said "there is no spoon, Neo, or in your case no wagon...". I guess he's right. Anyways I am dry today. I got a nice surprise visit from my, now long-distant friend yesterday, as he made sure he popped by before leaving again for Alberta. It was so great to see him, forgetting how he always put a smile on my face. He couldn't believe how good I looked and considering my so-called life right now, at least I look good. We had a quick chat and then he had to run. I hope he can come out again soon and we can hang out. He picks me up when I'm down. It's too bad we didn't have time for a bit of mattress dancing. After seeing a hummingbird hovering around my balcony the other day, I proceeded to buy a feeder and make homemade nectar for the hummingbirds. Hopefully this will bring some new interesting life to my balcony. Always curious, I sen a short message to the guy I removed from my ...