Snow is Beautiful and Triggering

Vancouver has never been known as a winter wonderland, well, at least the actual city center, but the weather pattern has consistently turned frigid. Usually, Vancouverites are used to the dreary gray decor, cloudy and rainy 24 - 7, making the shorter days even worse, as if the Sun is wearing shades. The streets are usually lined with puddles and the locals walk around the city with black umbrellas adding to the dark wet days of winter. I have noticed some people donning vibrant coloured umbrellas, standing out from the wave of black, but this is probably more for safety from cars, scooters, e-bikes, buses and other vehicles trying to peer through the rain. I was almost hit by a car and now I have a bright yellow umbrella, hoping I don't experience that shock ever again.

This past week, the weather went from unusually warm and balmy in January to an about-face in February with negative temperatures and snow falling in the city and all over the Lower Mainland. The excitement of hearing snow in the weather forecast filled people's ears, starting up the usual chatter for locals - "It won't be as much as they say" or "There won't be any snow by the water". Waiting all night long, not a flake fell, but early in the wee hours of the morning, a blanket of snow covered the city - all of the city and the outskirts. Not only a blanket but a thick duvet, too! There was definitely more snow than expected, and even more on the way, which surprised us again the next day. Temperatures went even lower and everything froze. The unkept sidewalks and side streets turned into skating rinks. A wonderful thing happens when it snows in Vancouver - the world brightens with all fluffy white powder reflecting any light.

Now usually I am joyful with snowfalls, always reminding me of past experiences trying to get around the city. It's funny how I always look at those days as positive but in reality, it was the most frustrating times of winter. The city is not prepared for snowfalls and freezing temperatures, buses halted, Skytrain disruptions, cars and trucks skidded out on highways and city streets. One time I had to walk for 1 hour to work in a blizzard as there was no way for any transportation to fight through the massive accidents and blocked streets. I still look at that day, no matter how cold and bothered I was, as a happy memory. Perhaps this is why people forget that they can't drive in the snow, continuing to attempt a commute in the white stuff, just to realize they either can't drive in it or they get stuck in traffic behind that incapable driver. Hence the city telling people to just not drive.

This event seemed more successful for the winter weather city workers, tackling the streets with brine, salt and sand before the snow fell. The streets were slushy but it never froze into a dirty ice rink. Usually, the same hills in the city become impassible, buses lined up on the side lane, incapable of making it up the "ski slope" to the top. This time there were no issues on those hills, Translink purposing almost the whole fleet of buses with better snow tires. I have to say, the buses were great - my form of transportation for my daily commute - but the cars speeding by the buses were quite disturbing. The only reason I felt anxious was the F1 racers trying to beat the traffic and no doubt more snow on the way. 

One night over 2 years ago, after an unusually large dump of snow, my feelings of snow changed, from excitement to anxiety. This anxious feeling in my gut wasn't from my commute but from a fall I had, resulting in a broken wrist after Christmas and a couple of weeks before I was supposed to be back at work. I slipped on a patch of ice hidden under a light layer of snow, in the middle of the street 2 blocks from my apartment, late at night. I waited until the next day to have it X-rayed, many other ladies with the same result, a broken wrist from an outward hand fall. With my arm in a cast, I learned how to work with one arm and healed in 6 weeks. Unfortunately, carpal tunnel syndrome appeared and then I went on a long run of appointments and surgeries. I can happily say I am fully healed now, but this 2-year stint of not having use of my hands fully challenged me to no end. Seeing this recent snow propped up my awareness, walking around like an 80-year-old, fearing another fall. After a few days, I am happily not afraid of the ground below me, but I am ever vigilant of the damn ice that can appear anywhere.

The word triggering is so popular today and for some reason, I never really used it in regard to my
experiences. I have never had an incident that caused any kind of overwhelming anxiety until I fell and broke my wrist. An avalanche of challenges in my simple life buried me alive for a while, although I came out fine, it seemed to take forever to recover fully. The thought of slipping again and stirring the pot at my work to cover my shifts, never mind the continuous circle of medical appointments sprinkled in my busy work schedule, makes me consciously bubble wrap my body for protection. Now I automatically react to snow, both negative and positive feelings tugging at my core. In my 20s I wrecked my knee with an ACL complete tear, antiquated techniques used to repair my knee, and now I am already limiting my snow activities for fear of another injury. Osteoarthritis isn't fun, and I don't need any more pain in my knee. 

Ultimately, the snow is beautiful, changing the vibe in the city in the dead of winter. Vancouverites still enjoy making snowmen and so many foreigners get to experience snow for the first time, making snow angels and tossing snowballs. It always feels like the idyllic scenery in every Hallmark Christmas movie, with everyone getting to bundle up and drink cocoa. Perhaps my uneasy feelings of wintery weather will fade, but I'm sure I will never feel confident again on icy streets again.