Cheers to my Community!

After work, as I'm heading down to my local, are the friends there really what they say they are? You only know them from the bar... 

Community. We all search for it. Acceptance, understanding, similarities, affirmations, friendship. When you sit down next to another person and the conversation is like one with the mirror - similar feelings, ideas, paths - you realize you aren't the only person in this huge world that finds the hurdles endless. Are we all searching for something unattainable? Are we all expecting too much from humanity? This community I see regularly is, of course, sauced up with an alcoholic glaze, so this always makes me put my guard up. I have consistently watched what some drinks can do to people, me included, and how 'the truth' comes out, as the alcohol slips armour from everyone. 

I have met many people, including my partner, and have made numerous friends at our watering hole. It's amazing how, as you get older, your eyes weaken but what they see is not what's directly in front of you but what's inside these people. Many of them are strictly shut off and don't give off their inner matter, but some lay it all out on the table, showing their hand. We all gather at this place for reasons only we know, but the interactions energize us to move forward. The lessons we learn visiting this special place are innumerable. Every age from young to old hangs out, sharing stories of their day, speaking of news, politics, work, holidays and personal struggles, and advice given out freely just from the experience of living it themselves. People come and go, lives end, lives change in a second from injury, and the world keeps going. 

No one is alone, no matter how much we sometimes want solitude. This is something I have mastered - being solo, independent, self-reliant - and I am sure this skill became stronger during the pandemic. I never used to use my days off in my small home. During "Covid" we all were forced to stay in, protecting us from catching the virus that was killing people around us. I actually enjoyed this time, although it did make us think differently, making decisions we never could have thought would affect us. Deciding how we could purchase toilet paper as it disappeared from shelves, piling up in the corners of people's homes. I found this an incredible truth about humanity, watching the world hoard the strangest things to save them from Mother Earth's inevitable response to our assault on her. How would a fort of toilet paper save anyone from a deadly virus? Years later, looking back makes me shake my head, as sometimes I wonder how our species has lasted this long. Reentering the outside, we all were a bit different when we returned to our community space, our local watering hole, hoping all of us survived the pandemic. Some succumbed to the virus, others passed from forgotten ailments whilst everyone was masked up, hiding from COVID-19. 

I noticed everyone had changed a bit, differently depending on the personality. The community was still there mostly, and gathering new members almost daily, everyone having the pandemic as the common denominator of experience. No matter who it was, the world had changed, like each person in my life. Friends changed also, as I personally feel focused on ridding myself of wasted energy. After all the time alone, I recognize things I didn't before. I don't waste my time on people who only live inside their world. I see how they move within the community, using people the get things. There is a difference between sharing and using, and this is the key to friendship. I have been used too many times and perhaps this is why it takes a long time for me to trust. My community is smaller but stronger.

Friends and community are important in life, as being able to share and give, however you can. I hope my commitment to the community and my contribution continues. Whatever each member gives is the glue that binds us together. What my 'purpose' is with my group I believe is simply to affirm, comfort, entertain, laugh, enjoy, and converse. I still believe that friends are different than 'bar friends', where my view is if I spend time outside of the four walls of "Cheers" with you - you are a friend. This belief is chipping away, as I am softening my understanding of how each person maneuvers their way in the community, giving and taking. This little pub has all the aspects of life - similar to a self-contained terrarium. As if we are all in a Petrie dish while being poked and prodded changes the outcome. 

Cheers to the community of which I am a member. We depend on each other, with all of our differences and similarities. Let it be there for generations to come.