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Covid-19 Birthday Blues...But Why?



It's May the 4th (be with you) and I'm starting to think about my age again, as anyone does around their birthday. Normally we would all be preparing for a visit to see our Moms, Mother's Day is on Sunday, and I choose to remember my Mother, as she passed just under 15 years ago. My birthday has always been linked to Mother's Day and I don't really recall a time where I was ever jealous of a big holiday being close to my special day. I don't think I have ever made a fuss over my day of birth but I am old and may have forgotten some time when I was a toddler or teen throwing a tantrum over my birthday. This year is different. The world is different. There is a significant chance of possibly not seeing next year. I agree I am exaggerating about the latter, but it never came up when thinking about my anniversary of entering the world. The coronavirus fear has been trickling into the minds of everyone, and it hasn't avoided my glob of mush sloshing around in my skull.



Drive-by birthdays replacing traditional milestone celebrations ...Watching TV and scanning social media, birthdays have been a big topic, everyone figuring out how to make the day special for the human focal point, whether they are a toddler or adult, teen or elder, and I mostly see the drive-by birthday party. People in a cavalcade of cars, using fossil fuels, idling on a street, with balloons and streamers decorating each car. We all know how we feel about that pile of environmental waste, but I guess for a child it is memorable. Adults seem to be enjoying zoom or facetime group chats, setting their computer screen up like a Brady Bunch opening theme show credits page, booze in hand downing shots and cheering the birthday recipient. The good thing about this is the missing drunken walk home, cab home, etc, and being very close to your bathroom and bed.


Drunk Birthday Memes to Wish Your Friends - 2HappyBirthdayI have always thought the people attending the birthday seem to have way more fun than the actual person with the goofy hat placed on his or her head. I remember when I was in a relationship in my 30's, all of my friends and my partner got way more inebriated than me, and whether that is due to my control issues or mothering tendencies, I never really remember a time where I was having a better time than them. I guess I am just not a birthday person, and I always say this to everyone. I turned 50 two years ago and everyone made a big deal about this milestone, but I was just not really into it. I always like the planning process and seeing the happiness on the faces of those people; it is a nice warm feeling knowing that people care about me. As this birthday approaches, it feels strange in the times of self-isolation and Covid-19. I haven't seen anyone physically except my boyfriend and workmates. If I bump into people on the street, the visit isn't long and a simple wave from across the street is actually a pleasant pick me up.



When Angie has to work on her birthday meme - Angry Toddler ...Saturday is my 52nd birthday, born in 1968, and I have the day off, and the next days off too! During these days this isn't a surprise, but in my past I was lucky if this ever happened. When I worked in sports bars, in charge of the kitchen, I wouldn't even attempt to have the days off, to enjoy my birthday with family and friends. I would spend it working my ass off and then getting drunk with my workmates until I needed a bed so I could wake up early for my shift the next morning. Since I have worked outside of the 'sports bar' atmosphere I have had appropriate celebrations, and thus, no real need for a recovery day post. This year is very much different, with the World in a state of isolation and lock-down. There is nowhere to go and celebrate, restaurants and bars all closed for seated service. I have no idea what is in store for my upcoming birthday. I feel like the graduating students, wedding couples, and others expecting to celebrate an important day in our lives. Postponement is so familiar with me, because of my employment history. "Don't worry, we'll celebrate later this week!", "I'll get you a drink when I see you next!", "Let's plan a party next week for you!" I seem to always work on my birthday so this isn't disappointing, and actually great since I hate being in the spotlight.

On Saturday I hope to enjoy my birthday healthy and I am hoping I get to see my boyfriend and family. I may have that group video chat, I may have a picnic if the weather is nice, I may go for a nice walk. Who knows what will happen, but at least I know one thing, I will be older and I guess wiser. I am not the only person in the world experiencing this predicament, everyone is affected by this new way of life. It's just another day, as I have always said, and it really is. Thank you for all of the love and celebratory virtual birthday messages coming my way. It will fill the hole I have never craved on my special day but obviously will miss greatly this year.
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