Tick Tock Tick Tock

I had motivation at the beginning of the dark days of the Covid 19 shutdown, where there is nothing to do but self-isolate and watch the world from the window. I had lists of stuff to do that I never get around to doing, and it still sits staring at me on my refrigerator with checkmarks and added ideas. But to no avail I have abandoned this itinerary for living the life of a cat. I drown out the sound of my clock hanging in the bathroom with music, No Doubt best of compilation currently, but it still doesn't stop me from looking at the clock and thinking about doing something. I think about doing laundry, think about going outside for fresh air, think about going to the store to buy more beer (augh like I need that). I think about what I'm going to eat and whether it is too soon to start my next meal. 

In the meantime, I noticed I have a view of a crow's nest with a crow sitting on her eggs. She is doing the same thing as I am - napping, looking at the world from her nest, reorganizing her nest for more comfort, waiting to eat(her mate just brought her a snack) - and hoping to stretch her wings soon when her mate returns. Well, my mate is hunkered down in his own cave on the other side of the city, puttering around his place doing similar things to waste the time away. There isn't much to do but tinker around and plan the next hour of life.

It's a cloudy but bright day and a weekend so there are more people outside, walking the streets. It's hard to take a walk making room for people - 2 metres distance - in the West End of Vancouver. People have stacked stories high in apartments, all needing to stretch their legs and fill their lungs with fresh air, and if you don't have a balcony, you get really antsy for the outside. I have a balcony, and it can be quite chilly out there at this time of the year, but still enjoyable after 2pm, when the sun is farther west of my apartment. I have sat out for coffee in the morning and it is so bright it's impossible to see a book or crossword, nevermind how hot it is! I'm not complaining, and my plants love the sunshine. When it is a hot day, it is stifling out there but at night it is lovely. 

As I become one with my apartment, I think of how long I have lived in this building. I have been here in the West End for over 25 years! I was originally by the beach in a studio apartment overlooking the Burrard Street Bridge. When I returned to the West End I was in a sublet and then was offered it on the renter's return. That was also a studio in the current building, although I have been in a one-bedroom for at least 15 years. I have literally lost track of how long I have been here! Similarly I have lost track of time in my own life. I noticed when you age you look at your life in chunks of time...different jobs, different pets, different homes, different mates, etc...and the years of those chunks are a bit fuzzy at times.

I need to rethink retirement if this is all people do during retirement. I speak to my parents, and they haven't been drastically changed. They do the same things as they always do, with a bit less socializing. I haven't really got any hobbies, and certain detailed hobbies like sewing, knitting, crafting, all are too focussed, where I know I w0uld get frustrated. I do have some old hobbies like photography and this - writing - that keeps me busy. I could very well pick up these old standbys again. It would pass the time. I have all the time in the world right now to rev up those old engines and take her around the block.

This blog is my mind slowly melting while I Hamlet myself into doing nothing again. On that note, I'm going to do something, unless I get distracted and forget what I was doing.... Until next time...