Jenobi's World

I am not a Mother, technically. I have not given birth or raised an adopted child. I have not chosen to not have kids, I have just not felt I am capable to financially support a child. Considering I am still learning how to financially support my own lifestyle, I always wonder how other people do it with a significantly smaller income. Regardless of the chances I have had to accidentally become a parent but luckily did not succeed, I have been told that I have a mothering soul. I have been working in the hospitality industry for over twenty years, and have trained hundreds of new employees. Training and raising are not the same but when all of my trainees look up to me like a mother, I begin to wonder if I am getting my fill of motherhood everyday at work. My 'kids' come to me with ailments, financial advice, relationship issues, personal problems and numerous other issues only a parent would experience. The days at work are little tidbits of parenthood that I learn with ...

It has been six years since the passing of my mother. Six years ago I was grieving and relieved that she was no longer in pain. Six years ago I was consoling my father, as he was devastated at the loss of his life partner. Six years ago, I was with a different partner and a different job. Six years ago, I smoked. Six years ago, I weighed fifteen pounds more. Six years ago I had one cat. Today, I remembered my mother and how she has affected me inside and out. Today, I miss her and wish she were alive. Today, I received an email from my father reminding me of the importance of today, and smile because he found happiness again, a lucky man he is. Today, I am thankful to have found a new partner who lets me be who I am and understands my stress, as I understand his. Today, I have a different job where I can regal in new accomplishments and appreciate the awards won. Today, I can celebrate over three years of not smoking, without cheating once. Today, I weigh less and feel better overall...

The sound of the daily morning voices reading the day's news stories from the TelePrompTer is what I am accustomed to as I awaken from my sleep. This morning was definitely different. Other than staying up later than usual, causing me to sleep through the morning news programmed to ease me out of my morning dreams, my reason for sleeping in was quite obvious...work. This was my day off. After hearing the news that the bad apple had fallen from the tree, I needed some rest before my next few weeks of finding a new addition or two for the team, with whom I spend half of my life. Filling the holes in the schedule is easier, knowing that the elation of the team, caused by this recent incident, has changed the overall attitude of the staff. After a nice long sleep, the foreign sound that gently woke me was rain, large drops smacking against the window, ringing off the window pane and balcony railing. Okay, yes, the title of this blog states that I live in Canada's rain forest, so wh...

I remember when I was in Elementary School. Young and naive, learning and not knowing it in my classroom. Those days were such fantastic innocent times. The friendly mothering teacher taught us all to never be afraid to ask questions. That's how we all learn. No question is a silly question. Time passed and the innocence faded as we all got older. Teasing and bullying began quietly when competitiveness entered the ring. I remember asking a question in class once and heard the lilt of twittering snickers behind me. Of course the teacher scolded the students, but that first stab of embarrassment and teasing will stay with me forever . Since then, I made it my mission to know everything about everything, or shut up. Don't ask questions for fear my peers would laugh at me, pointing at my ignorance. I was not cool if I asked a question. Through Secondary School this was not apparent in my learning process as I remained steadfast on the honor roll annually. I made sure I earned the...

Time...time on my hands. How do I fill the empty hours of my tediously work-filled life. Amazingly with all of the Disneyland desires fulfilled, I somehow require more. My appetite is a continuously growing monster, demanding food from all reaches, rather than just the simple staples of everyday meals. I am not desiring more so to speak, but rather variety. I am soon to have a break from the monotony of my employment in the hectic world of hospitality. For a manager, especially a kitchen manager, this is practically impossible. There are many reasons for this predicament, first being, the nature of the person taking that role is, in general, a workaholic. I fill my life with work, making everything part of my life, from friends to home life. If you are addicted to the enjoyment of being needed, you feel you can't take a break. The second reason for never taking a vacation or a break revolves around the type of employees that work in the restaurant business. Although they are all go...

After working day in and day out in a busy restaurant, sweating up a storm over open flame in 30 deg ree heat, having a day off can be a foreign situation. When the drama of the day is multiplied by 100 during the summer thanks to the raise in sales, requests for days off from staff, on top of the numerous key events that boost our sales over the top, your scheduled routine is simply sleep-work-sleep -work. I have been lucky to finally get 2 days off and my mind is still needing to be busy. Sleeping in is hard as waking up at 6am on a regular basis can create an inner alarm clock that pushes you out of bed when the sun is u p. Yesterday I was sitting around in my apartment until I finally got outside and went for a walk. I was intent on just looking in windows but, of course, I was sucked into my favourite "pass the time" store - Winners - and came out with some more clothes. In the approving eyes of Stacey London fr om What Not To Wear, I bought some perfect clothes to ch...

I am sunburned . At 42 years of age, one would think that experience with the sun and fair skin would automatically set off a sunscreen alert. Sometimes I think I am disregarding obvious warnings in hopes that I will wake up one day, in a different life. When I was in university I had a great plan to write a novel. The story would be autobiographical but written as fiction. The life of a young adult entering her life, post secondary school, crossing a street and her life flashes before her eyes. The novel would be this character's life before she crosses that street. I wasn't quite sure how it would end, similar to my view of my own future, but I knew it would end as it began, with that step out onto the street. I guess if I write the novel now I would have more to fill my story... My interest in writing comes from my initial diary entries , although I hated that I 'ne eded' to write my thoughts down daily. For some reason when I was a 'tween' my friends all h...