Jenobi's World

Monday was the day I decided to jump on that roller coaster again. I wasn't even the slightest bit frightened of the twists and turns, ups and downs, or jolts out of your seat. I just hopped in the car with a big smile on my face and dropped the bar over my knees. I went on the third blind date in a month. The second was okay but this one was different. Ray, a guy I met on Plentyoffish.com, got in touch with me through looking at my profile. I remember responding back, not expecting anything special. After 20 or 30 replies back and forth, we finally exchanged phone numbers. We have been speaking to each other for two weeks on the phone and on-line. We seem to have great conversations and finally he asked if he could meet me. I agreed immediately and we met for coffee on Monday. We walked around Stanley Park, me showing the born and raised Squamish boy, around my beautiful part of the world. Of course, he lives in a very beautiful place too, but I was surprised by his wonder of...

Here I sit at my computer as I listen to the pops and bangs of the local teens blowing up the neighbourhood. It must be Halloween. I used to be really big on this annual event but the last two years have snuck up on me when it comes to costumes. I usually prefer the grotesque for costumes, utilizing liquid latex for almost everything. I have made scars, bullet hole wounds, gashes, peeling skin and the such with the stuff. It is very important to go to a good theatrical makeup store to buy the good stuff. That and good blood. I won a 40G iPod one year and all I spent was $20 on liquid latex, fake blood, fake flies and mice. As you can see from the picture I was pretty messy. I had a bit of a rough sleep night the past two nights, where I was waking up every two or three hours. I haven't h ad much decent sleep so tonight is not gonna happen. I came up with no costume other than placing the letters P and Q (many of each) on my forehead. That's it! What am I? Minding my Ps and ...

I woke up today, ready to change my life. My plan today was to change my apartment around to remove the memories of my past months. I opened my eyes to a bit of a hangover. Wine and beer is not a good mix. Eating is important, too. Well, I'm sure the monthly visitor had her way with my state, too. My loneliness has been forgotten lately with the new addition of some new people in my life. I was happy to see the emails and messages from both of them this morning. Even happier to talk to them both today. I will meet one this week at Checkers for drinks. Both seem really nice and it's fun meeting new guys. After a long bout of reorganizing, my apartment is changed around. Sad to have no window view for my computer but the apartment is better. I have a dinner table now....if I ever use it to eat on it!

I woke up this morning with a severe headache but the sun was shining on my face, so I knew I had to get up and get outside. The headache could be cured but the sun shining in late October after weeks of rain? This was not something anyone should miss. I jumped out of bed at 8:45am and brewed some coffee... caffeine always settles a headache for me. Perhaps it may be a slight addiction I have, who knows. I jumped in the shower while the coffee brewed. After my shower I settled into the sunshine and my computer, gathering any new emails, etc. from the addictive electronic equipment I have which entertains me more than the tube. A new email from a guy I met...yipee...possible meeting for coffee.... yipee . After drinking enough coffee to drown the headache, I wandered off into the sunshine. Now, I am usually not mindless but today I was. I went to Stanley Park with my iPod and my sunglasses and soaked in the sun. A beautiful day! A phone call from another guy I met! "Nice", ...

...sadness or the loneliness. I believe the two are entities in themselves . I have been lonely but not sad. Being alone or feeling out of sorts can make one sad but, in my case, it does not apply. If you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, the sadness is fleeting, while the loneliness can be rectified by calling friends and just being in the presence of people who care about you. Simple and short....I am not sad. I am a bit lonely but that will change...soon!

Loneliness From Wikipedia , the free encyclopedia Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness isolation . Loneliness is more than just the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any form of meaningful human contact. Lonely people often experience a subjective sense of inner emptiness or hollowness, with feelings of separation or isolation from the world. So it's Saturday night, I'm here in front of my computer about to settle in for the evening. Although I am financially disabled at the moment, I have decided to stay in, regardless of easily finding money in hiding spots amongst my assets. Although I have chosen to be away from the crowd, I know it is not from mere selection but rather from an overwhelming fe...

A carnival has rides and strange people like fire -eaters and palm readers. I had my palm read and what she said was not what I wanted to hear. I wonder if every choice I made in the past had to do with w hat her future telling abilities. As you all well know, my track record with m en has been a roller coaster ride, with many sharp turns, deep plunges and dips that threw me right out of my seat. When I look back at all the boys and men in my life, I wonder when I will meet the one that will hold my hand on that carnival ride. My first boyfriend was in kindergarten, according to my Mom. His name was Ralph, a German boy living in Lahr while my family and I were stationed there. My father signed up to be a high school teacher for the army brats on the base, a good gig considering the vacation time and you're smack dab in the mid dle of Europe! We all got to travel Europe every vacation, from the British Isles to Cypress! Ralph was in my grade and used to tell me of his dream...

I think I have found the perfect picture of a dragonfly for my first tattoo. I have always wanted a tattoo and I have been looking through many pictures of these amazing insects. I am making this short as it is really late, but I am pretty excited on figuring out what I want finally and where. I want the tattoo on the back of my neck. Not huge! Just about 2 inches square. In Japan they symbolize strength, courage and happiness. I just have always loved them....Here is a picture of the tattoo I want ...yes, if you are an expert, it is a damselfly, but hey, it's awesome anyways...

Too sleepy to blog today...This doesn't mean I've got nothing to say but I just haven't got the energy after a busy weekend at work to gather my thoughts on a page. Stay tuned....Monday is approaching and I'm sure I'll have corralled my thoughts into a neat little witty ditty for y'all!

Today is OFFICIAL NO BLOG DAY. I have nothing to say really. Got a nice email back from the blind date last night. Ummmmmmm work nothing to note but I loved cooking with my old pal during brunch today. Ummmmmmmmmm walked around Stanley Park after work. Want a tattoo.......like this one maybe on the back of my neck... That's it....Ok I guess I blogged.....

Kampei! Well, I'm home at 8:45pm after my first blind date. I was off work early again, which I can't really afford to do anymore, but in this case it was probably a good idea. I went home and changed what I was wearing, as I had decided late last night after trying on numerous casual outfits. I messengered him saying we can meet earlier since we need to have dinner by 8pm according to the invites. He told me that 5:30pm would be good, so I ventured out by foot to the Broadway and Laurel Earl's and got there a half hour early. No problem because I'm always early and I could read my Bourdain book while having a beer. A half hour passed and he walked in. Recognized me right away and sat down. We shared small talk and it seemed he was a bit uncomfortable but the conversation was good. Hard to hear because of the loud bar at Earl's, with the hockey game crowd coming in to watch the game. The banter was not what I expected as it was on the phone, friendly though and ...

So I decided to go on a blind date on Friday. Being a bit lonely now I casually signed up for a singles site and after a few days this guy contacted me through it. We exchanged hotmail addys and talked for about 2 hours earlier this week. At first I was a bit leery about the whole thing, not really knowing who he is and wondering if I was getting in over my head. Then I thought, baby steps....will never get me anywhere! We have fun conversation and why not? No pressure just drinks at Earl's and then he said if I feel okay with it we can go for dinner at this new restaurant that he did some work for, which they had invited him to try out for free. Cheap yeah but if we hate it we don't pay anyways! Look at Jen jumping outside of the box!!!! Are y'all proud of me? We'll see what happens.....I'll fill yah in after the date!

After writing my first blog in months, yesterday, I decided to avoid any house work and laundry and get outside. It took me until 4pm to get out of the apartment, but with my trusty iPod nano, my most recent reading material (Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential) and a rain jacket, I ventured out into the rain showers. Not so cold and not raining hard, i thought. I have been walking for years and more frequently for months. I did try to change my lifestyle a touch and walk every night after dinner, as I usually pass out after eating my usual single meal. So much so that I have managed to lose quite a bit of weight which was needed. I had plumped up to a jolly 165 lbs while stagnant with Peter, my ex. I shed the weight also from avoiding pop. No more bottles of Coca cola or pink grapefruit juice soda. I have been taking in water and that's about it for beverages. I mean I am drinking beer and such, but at work and home I only have water. I have even stopped drinking juice ...

As I continue to age day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, I realize that when I was a little girl, 40 years old was OLD. Ancient! I have been alive for 40 years already and reaching that milestone scares the hell outta me. What have I accomplished over that time? What haven't I accomplished? All of this introspective can make someone dizzy if not depressed. Maybe that's why I have been down lately? The past year has been quite a change of the old routine I was used to living day in and day out. After 6 years, I ended my relationship with my then partner. I ended this partnership mainly because I was turning 39 years old and it was going nowhere. To me it was like having another pet during the worst times and having a teddy bear during the better times. There was little passion, just boring routine. No real future visible ahead. Dreams were made of the future we could live but as the time passed, that dream turned out just to be a dream. The thought of leaving my cit...